All Things for Good...

God uses all things for Good. Isn't this so hard to accept sometimes. How can God use all things for Good? How can He use suffering and pain for Good? I recently learned that He can use it for Good - He showed me how.

You see, I have a hard time dealing with conflict and I can, at times, become overly emotional and act very childish. I have been struggling with this. It is usually so much more intense when I am stressed.

So in the past month, I have been stressed to the max. I cannot remember how long it has been since I got a full 8 hours of sleep. Lately it has been 3-6 hours per night, usually more towards the three hours... I was chastised very harshly by people at Church that caused me a lot of grief and I recently had an incident at work where one of the directors of another department blamed me for something that was not entirely my fault.

This turned into a huge issue that effected multiple people and went all the way up to our CEO. I have pressure from work, from my clients, from my family and from my Church and from myself. Everywhere I have pressure and yesterday I had my first ever panic attack - it was really scary.

So how could any of this be used for Good? Well, today I was in a position where I could have responded negatively. It was a very scary moment for me in which the old me would have either run out of the room in tears or stayed and said very ugly things. But I did not do either. Instead, I was quiet and held my tears in.

I was told later that I handled the situation well. Then I realized that if it had not been for all those people who gave me a hard time, pushed my buttons, threatened me, chastized me and wounded me, I would not have been prepared to handle this one.

But I was prepared. God used all of these things that were so difficult for me, He used them to strengthen me. I can now look back at all these stressors and difficulties over the past few weeks with gratitude because He helped me to be a stronger person and I am much better for it.

Thank you God, for shaping me into a better person. Just like a sword must be tested in fire, so too must I, but it is to make me stronger. Help to always be grateful for everything, even in the face of adversity. I praise you and glorify you in all things, even in my suffering, for I unite my suffering with Your Suffering and I carry my cross with faith, hope and love.