Just a couple weeks ago, I posted that I was leaving my job on moral grounds. I had no clue where I would be going or what I would be doing. However, I trusted God to take care of me. Yes, I was worried, and yes, I was afraid. But I continued to trust in God. I knew that I was doing the right thing and even if it landed me pennyless and on the streets, I knew it would be for the glory of God.
However, that is so not the case! Within says of my announcement I received calls for interviews. Calls from jobs I had applied to as well as jobs to which I had not applied. I sent my resume to people I knew in the San Antonio Archdiocese and it was not long before my resume was everywhere and I received more interest than I knew what to do with.
I had never applied for a job, had an interview and had an offer in less than a week - let alone two offers! By Wednesday of this week, I had an offer at St. Pius X as their Adult Religious Formation Manager and a second offer at the San Antonio Archdiocese in their Marriage and Family Life Office.
I also had a meeting with the Director of Pastoral Ministries who was so impressed with me that she wanted to create a position for me. However, due to the recession, that was not possible. I followed up on a few other applications I had sent in, they were also very interested but not far enough in the process to make any offers. They asked me if I could hold off a few weeks. Unfortuntely, the offers I had needed answers and I could not wait.
So I took a few days to think it over and weight my options. My decision was not to be based on material things such as money or anything like that. Instead, I based it on where I feel God is calling me.
On the one hand, work in the Parish is very valuable experience and I would be able to directly teach people and, hopefully, help them develop a stronger, more intimate relationship with Christ. On the other hand, the position at the Archdiocese would get my foot in the door and give me the ability to support the very important mission of educating all the faithful in San Antonio on the Catholic Teachings of Marriage and Family Life. Plus I had not applied to this job - it sought me out.
In the end, I chose to go with St. Pius X. When praying about it, I felt that I would be more authentically me in that position - I think I could do the most good there and that God has the most need of me there.
It was with great regret to say no to the Archdiocese, but I do feel like I made the right decision. A decision that I could have only made with a committment to prayer and discerning God's Will.
I am utterly amazed at how quickly this all happened. God certainly keeps His promises and I have no fear that God will continue to provide so long as I continue to discern His will for me, to love Him and to serve Him as well as His people, my brothers and sisters in Christ.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
God will Provide
Sorry it has been so long since my last post. I have just been so busy with my many responsibilities. It has been a trying summer to say the least with a Women's ACTS Retreat, forming a New Ministry, planning a Youth 2000 Retreat, singing in multiple choirs, working full time and going to school. It is definately a blessing that I am single woman and have the ability to serve my Church this way.
But I recently had to make a decision to live my faith more fully by standing up for my convictions. My employer recently made a blanket statement to all Planned Parenthoods stating that we support them and followed this with a new program to donate a very large amount of money to them. This on the heels of so many states cutting funding to abortion clinics.
I felt that to continue working there would be a violation of my faith. I have spoken with many people including my priest as well as my spiritual director who both said that I am not committing a sin, but I know it is not healthy for me to constantly have to hide my faith or silence my beliefs. It made me feel like a lie.
So I told my employer of my dilema. Amazingly, they were very understanding and are supporting me in leaving. I am trying to get into Active Church ministry and I have a lot of support from my home Parish and Local Church.
I am not sure what the next few months will hold for my life, but I am convinced that God will provide. Please pray for me and, please feel free to leave your prayer intentions in the comments as I would be honored to pray for you.
God Bless.
But I recently had to make a decision to live my faith more fully by standing up for my convictions. My employer recently made a blanket statement to all Planned Parenthoods stating that we support them and followed this with a new program to donate a very large amount of money to them. This on the heels of so many states cutting funding to abortion clinics.
I felt that to continue working there would be a violation of my faith. I have spoken with many people including my priest as well as my spiritual director who both said that I am not committing a sin, but I know it is not healthy for me to constantly have to hide my faith or silence my beliefs. It made me feel like a lie.
So I told my employer of my dilema. Amazingly, they were very understanding and are supporting me in leaving. I am trying to get into Active Church ministry and I have a lot of support from my home Parish and Local Church.
I am not sure what the next few months will hold for my life, but I am convinced that God will provide. Please pray for me and, please feel free to leave your prayer intentions in the comments as I would be honored to pray for you.
God Bless.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
All Things for Good...
God uses all things for Good. Isn't this so hard to accept sometimes. How can God use all things for Good? How can He use suffering and pain for Good? I recently learned that He can use it for Good - He showed me how.
You see, I have a hard time dealing with conflict and I can, at times, become overly emotional and act very childish. I have been struggling with this. It is usually so much more intense when I am stressed.
So in the past month, I have been stressed to the max. I cannot remember how long it has been since I got a full 8 hours of sleep. Lately it has been 3-6 hours per night, usually more towards the three hours... I was chastised very harshly by people at Church that caused me a lot of grief and I recently had an incident at work where one of the directors of another department blamed me for something that was not entirely my fault.
This turned into a huge issue that effected multiple people and went all the way up to our CEO. I have pressure from work, from my clients, from my family and from my Church and from myself. Everywhere I have pressure and yesterday I had my first ever panic attack - it was really scary.
So how could any of this be used for Good? Well, today I was in a position where I could have responded negatively. It was a very scary moment for me in which the old me would have either run out of the room in tears or stayed and said very ugly things. But I did not do either. Instead, I was quiet and held my tears in.
I was told later that I handled the situation well. Then I realized that if it had not been for all those people who gave me a hard time, pushed my buttons, threatened me, chastized me and wounded me, I would not have been prepared to handle this one.
But I was prepared. God used all of these things that were so difficult for me, He used them to strengthen me. I can now look back at all these stressors and difficulties over the past few weeks with gratitude because He helped me to be a stronger person and I am much better for it.
Thank you God, for shaping me into a better person. Just like a sword must be tested in fire, so too must I, but it is to make me stronger. Help to always be grateful for everything, even in the face of adversity. I praise you and glorify you in all things, even in my suffering, for I unite my suffering with Your Suffering and I carry my cross with faith, hope and love.
You see, I have a hard time dealing with conflict and I can, at times, become overly emotional and act very childish. I have been struggling with this. It is usually so much more intense when I am stressed.
So in the past month, I have been stressed to the max. I cannot remember how long it has been since I got a full 8 hours of sleep. Lately it has been 3-6 hours per night, usually more towards the three hours... I was chastised very harshly by people at Church that caused me a lot of grief and I recently had an incident at work where one of the directors of another department blamed me for something that was not entirely my fault.
This turned into a huge issue that effected multiple people and went all the way up to our CEO. I have pressure from work, from my clients, from my family and from my Church and from myself. Everywhere I have pressure and yesterday I had my first ever panic attack - it was really scary.
So how could any of this be used for Good? Well, today I was in a position where I could have responded negatively. It was a very scary moment for me in which the old me would have either run out of the room in tears or stayed and said very ugly things. But I did not do either. Instead, I was quiet and held my tears in.
I was told later that I handled the situation well. Then I realized that if it had not been for all those people who gave me a hard time, pushed my buttons, threatened me, chastized me and wounded me, I would not have been prepared to handle this one.
But I was prepared. God used all of these things that were so difficult for me, He used them to strengthen me. I can now look back at all these stressors and difficulties over the past few weeks with gratitude because He helped me to be a stronger person and I am much better for it.
Thank you God, for shaping me into a better person. Just like a sword must be tested in fire, so too must I, but it is to make me stronger. Help to always be grateful for everything, even in the face of adversity. I praise you and glorify you in all things, even in my suffering, for I unite my suffering with Your Suffering and I carry my cross with faith, hope and love.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Into your hands I commend my Spirit
"Father, into your hands I commend my spirit” (Luke 23:46)
I think that, perhaps, this last saying of Jesus is the most human thing He said on the Cross. All His other words of forgiveness, salvation, giving, glory, love, and triumph could not have been said without His divinity. Sure, when Thomas was stoned to death, he also echoes Jesus’ first saying, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” But he said this with God’s Grace, which is bestowed upon us in infinite quantity. We just need to accept it.
When Jesus says these last words, He is reuniting Himself to God. He has completed all that He came to do. He has loved us, shown us God’s law, fulfilled the law and the prophets and now He has secured for us eternal life if we choose to accept His gift and all that it entails.
But remember that Christ never said it would be easy. Actually, He said we would be hated, we would have to take up our own crosses. In fact, of the 12 Apostles, I believe that John was the only one who was not martyred. Peter was crucified and legend says that He felt so unworthy to die in the same manner as his Lord, so he requested to be crucified upside down!
Look at the lives of other saints that gave up their lives for the faith. What does it mean for these men and women throughout time that they believed this so strongly that they would die for it? What does it mean when Jesus says, “Into your hands I commend my Spirit?”
Yes, in one sense, He is declaring that His time on Earth has ended and He is returning to the Father. But this is so much more than that. Do not forget that Jesus was human too because His sacrifice could only be redeeming for us if He was human. He was true God and True Man. But here, as we saw in Gethsemane was the man.
Do you recall His agony in the Garden? When He cried, so anxious about His pending death, you could almost feel the dread deep within Him. He felt so alone, not even His disciples could stay awake with Him. He sweat blood!
In His agony, He cried out to God to take this cup from Him, but then He submitted to the Lord’s Will. He submitted as the first reflection tells us, because of His love for us.
So then in His last words give us insight as to Who He is as True Man and thus also gives us insight about ourselves.
These words are actually from Psalms 31. In this Psalms, the psalmist laments the evil in the world and speaks of God’s judgment upon them. But he also puts a strong emphasis on trusting God and ends with thanksgiving as He knows that our God is a Faithful God.
When Jesus says these last words, He is reuniting Himself to God. He has completed all that He came to do. He has loved us, shown us God’s law, fulfilled the law and the prophets and now He has secured for us eternal life if we choose to accept His gift and all that it entails.
But remember that Christ never said it would be easy. Actually, He said we would be hated, we would have to take up our own crosses. In fact, of the 12 Apostles, I believe that John was the only one who was not martyred. Peter was crucified and legend says that He felt so unworthy to die in the same manner as his Lord, so he requested to be crucified upside down!
Look at the lives of other saints that gave up their lives for the faith. What does it mean for these men and women throughout time that they believed this so strongly that they would die for it? What does it mean when Jesus says, “Into your hands I commend my Spirit?”
Yes, in one sense, He is declaring that His time on Earth has ended and He is returning to the Father. But this is so much more than that. Do not forget that Jesus was human too because His sacrifice could only be redeeming for us if He was human. He was true God and True Man. But here, as we saw in Gethsemane was the man.
Do you recall His agony in the Garden? When He cried, so anxious about His pending death, you could almost feel the dread deep within Him. He felt so alone, not even His disciples could stay awake with Him. He sweat blood!
In His agony, He cried out to God to take this cup from Him, but then He submitted to the Lord’s Will. He submitted as the first reflection tells us, because of His love for us.
So then in His last words give us insight as to Who He is as True Man and thus also gives us insight about ourselves.
These words are actually from Psalms 31. In this Psalms, the psalmist laments the evil in the world and speaks of God’s judgment upon them. But he also puts a strong emphasis on trusting God and ends with thanksgiving as He knows that our God is a Faithful God.
In you, O LORD, I take refuge;
let me never be put to shame.
In your justice rescue me.
Into your hands I commend my spirit;
you will redeem me, O LORD, O faithful God.
For all my foes I am an object of reproach,
a laughingstock to my neighbors, and a dread to my friends;
they who see me abroad flee from me.
I am forgotten like the unremembered dead;
I am like a dish that is broken.
But my trust is in you, O LORD;
I say, “You are my God.
In your hands is my destiny; rescue me
from the clutches of my enemies and my persecutors.”
Let your face shine upon your servant;
save me in your kindness.
Take courage and be stouthearted,
all you who hope in the LORD.
let me never be put to shame.
In your justice rescue me.
Into your hands I commend my spirit;
you will redeem me, O LORD, O faithful God.
For all my foes I am an object of reproach,
a laughingstock to my neighbors, and a dread to my friends;
they who see me abroad flee from me.
I am forgotten like the unremembered dead;
I am like a dish that is broken.
But my trust is in you, O LORD;
I say, “You are my God.
In your hands is my destiny; rescue me
from the clutches of my enemies and my persecutors.”
Let your face shine upon your servant;
save me in your kindness.
Take courage and be stouthearted,
all you who hope in the LORD.
Jesus trusts the Father. His own humanity would be a hindrance to that trust just our humanity hinders us. How often do we try to trust God but then we don’t actually leave it in His hands? We try to control the situation so that our wills can be done, not His. But Jesus, in spite of His own human frailties, trusts God. He followed God, with Love in His heart for God and Neighbor, to Calvary where He was nailed to a cross and died for us.
His last words are a testament to His trust for God. “Father, into your hands I commend my Spirit.” The beauty that this was said by Jesus, as Man, dying on the Cross is the fullness of obedience, trust and Love, and we can also trust as He trusts.
We do not have eternal life simply because Jesus died for us. No, it is something we must accept within ourselves by saying yes to Christ, allowing Him to love us and relieving His thirst with our love for Him. It is a choice we must make and this choice leads to actions.
Everything we say and do, think and feel is a reflection of this Choice. We either choose to be His disciples or we do not. We either love God and Neighbor or we do not. We either trust that God has a plan for us and will take care of us, or we do not.
“Always be prepared to give an explanation of the reason for your hope” (1 Peter). We are called to be witnesses to Christ’s love. Many Christians today use the word witness and expect that they can walk into another person’s life, proud and haughty, and convert or transform them. They can be forceful, arrogant and unloving. Not a true witness to Christ’s Love who meets the sinner wherever he or she is at.
But moreover, the Greek word for ‘witness’ is Martyr. And so we are called to be martyrs, as Christ died for love of us, so we, too, die for love of Him. To truly accept Christ as our Lord and Savior means that we accept death, whether it is at a ripe old age or in our youth, whether it is peaceful and serene or agonizing, whether it is a death surrounded by loved ones or death as a martyr of our faith, we accept it and we trust God through it.
But acceptance of our own mortality, however it may come, is not the whole picture. We don’t just say, “yeah, ok, I know I am going to die someday...” No, we accept death meaning that we accept God’s Will for our lives. We can do this by dying to ourselves, our desires and attachments to worldly possessions and living for Him. God will never fail us, He will never abandon us, even when it seems as though He has, He never will. If there is one thing in this world that you can say with absolute certainty, it is that God loves all of us, sinner and saint, and He wants us to be with Him always.
I heard once that original sin was not disobeying God; rather it was not trusting God. Look for a moment at Genesis 3:1-6:
His last words are a testament to His trust for God. “Father, into your hands I commend my Spirit.” The beauty that this was said by Jesus, as Man, dying on the Cross is the fullness of obedience, trust and Love, and we can also trust as He trusts.
We do not have eternal life simply because Jesus died for us. No, it is something we must accept within ourselves by saying yes to Christ, allowing Him to love us and relieving His thirst with our love for Him. It is a choice we must make and this choice leads to actions.
Everything we say and do, think and feel is a reflection of this Choice. We either choose to be His disciples or we do not. We either love God and Neighbor or we do not. We either trust that God has a plan for us and will take care of us, or we do not.
“Always be prepared to give an explanation of the reason for your hope” (1 Peter). We are called to be witnesses to Christ’s love. Many Christians today use the word witness and expect that they can walk into another person’s life, proud and haughty, and convert or transform them. They can be forceful, arrogant and unloving. Not a true witness to Christ’s Love who meets the sinner wherever he or she is at.
But moreover, the Greek word for ‘witness’ is Martyr. And so we are called to be martyrs, as Christ died for love of us, so we, too, die for love of Him. To truly accept Christ as our Lord and Savior means that we accept death, whether it is at a ripe old age or in our youth, whether it is peaceful and serene or agonizing, whether it is a death surrounded by loved ones or death as a martyr of our faith, we accept it and we trust God through it.
But acceptance of our own mortality, however it may come, is not the whole picture. We don’t just say, “yeah, ok, I know I am going to die someday...” No, we accept death meaning that we accept God’s Will for our lives. We can do this by dying to ourselves, our desires and attachments to worldly possessions and living for Him. God will never fail us, He will never abandon us, even when it seems as though He has, He never will. If there is one thing in this world that you can say with absolute certainty, it is that God loves all of us, sinner and saint, and He wants us to be with Him always.
I heard once that original sin was not disobeying God; rather it was not trusting God. Look for a moment at Genesis 3:1-6:
“The serpent asked the woman, ‘Did God really tell you not to eat from any of the trees in the garden?’
The woman answered the serpent: ‘We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden; it is only about the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden that God said, You shall not eat it or even touch it, lest you die.'
But the serpent said to the woman: ’You certainly will not die! No, God knows well that the moment you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like gods who know what is good and what is bad.’
The woman saw that the tree was good for food, pleasing to the eyes, and desirable for gaining wisdom.”
The woman answered the serpent: ‘We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden; it is only about the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden that God said, You shall not eat it or even touch it, lest you die.'
But the serpent said to the woman: ’You certainly will not die! No, God knows well that the moment you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like gods who know what is good and what is bad.’
The woman saw that the tree was good for food, pleasing to the eyes, and desirable for gaining wisdom.”
So you see, the serpent had convinced the woman that God did not have the best intentions for her, that she could not trust Him. So then she looked at the fruit with untrusting eyes, seeing what she wanted and no longer placing her trust in God’s love for her.
Life is difficult. We are constantly bombarded with pain and suffering, if not our own, than someone else. We are constantly tempted by greed, lust, material possessions, etc. We live in a world where senseless things happen every day to good people; it is a world where many people say “Why God?” And they don’t understand.
Life is difficult. We are constantly bombarded with pain and suffering, if not our own, than someone else. We are constantly tempted by greed, lust, material possessions, etc. We live in a world where senseless things happen every day to good people; it is a world where many people say “Why God?” And they don’t understand.
“We know that all things work for good for those who love God”
(Romans 8:28).
(Romans 8:28).
Jesus does not call us to pick up our teddy bears and follow Him, He asks us to pick up our crosses which is just a splinter of the cross He carries for us.
No matter what cross He asks you to carry, trust that God gives you that cross for a purpose. Your suffering is for a reason beyond our comprehension today, but will be made clear tomorrow.Christ accepted His death and His final words were a testament to His Trust in the Father. We can join in Christ’s crucifixion by intrusting our spirits into His hands and then, we can have hope that we will also share in His resurrection.
No matter what cross He asks you to carry, trust that God gives you that cross for a purpose. Your suffering is for a reason beyond our comprehension today, but will be made clear tomorrow.Christ accepted His death and His final words were a testament to His Trust in the Father. We can join in Christ’s crucifixion by intrusting our spirits into His hands and then, we can have hope that we will also share in His resurrection.
Trust God and if things don’t work out, Trust Him more.
Thank You, Jesus, for becoming incarnate. You could have remained forever in the beauty and glory of your Father’s home but You freely chose instead briefly to visit with us, to live as a humble man, and above all to suffer Your Passion, taking upon Yourself the pain of all our sins, in agony on the Cross giving Your Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity to the Father to reconcile us with Him and open His kingdom for us. You bore all the pain, we got all the gain. What awesome love! What magnificent love! Thank you Jesus! Amen.
I want to thank everyone who has journeyed with me on the reflections of the Seven Last Sayings of Christ. It has been both a challenge as well as a blessing to find the time to reflect, mediditate and write about each saying. I feel like I have really grown in my faith and it is my sincerest hope that you have too. I love each of you for I know that God loves you. I ask Him to bless you at all times, to watch over you and your loved ones and to help you as you continue to grow in Faith.
Pax Christi,
Julia
I want to thank everyone who has journeyed with me on the reflections of the Seven Last Sayings of Christ. It has been both a challenge as well as a blessing to find the time to reflect, mediditate and write about each saying. I feel like I have really grown in my faith and it is my sincerest hope that you have too. I love each of you for I know that God loves you. I ask Him to bless you at all times, to watch over you and your loved ones and to help you as you continue to grow in Faith.
Pax Christi,
Julia
Thursday, April 21, 2011
It is finished
“It is finished” (John 19:30)
What does it mean to finish something? Does it mean that you are done and that you cannot do anymore? That you have died? Or does it mean that you were assigned a task and you have completed it? Was Jesus telling us that He was about to die or was He telling us that He had completed His task?
Well, Jesus did not say “I am finished,” rather, He said, “it is Finished.” So what is ‘it’?
Interestingly, I looked up the Greek word, τετελεσται, which translates to ‘It Is Finished,” could also refer to payment. Perhaps what Jesus was trying to say was “It has been paid.” When humanity first sinned, we all lost paradise. We became sinful people and for our sins, atonement must be made. However, we have fallen and no matter how many good works we do in our lifetime, we will never be good enough to make atonement or payment for our sins.
God is infinitely just and we are judged according to His justice. He says that we must make atonement, but the bail is set too high and we cannot pay it. And so He sent us someone who could. For the only sacrifice that would ever be redeeming enough to make reparations for the whole world would be God’s sacrifice. However, in order for the sacrifice to be able to apply to all of humanity, it had to be a human being’s sacrifice.
God wanted us to be reconciled to Him and so He sent us His only Son to pay the price for our sins. Throughout these reflections, I have demonstrated examples of how some of these sayings allude back to the Old Testament Prophecies. When Jesus says that ‘It is Finished,” He could be referring to His fulfillment of the Scriptures. This perhaps would be the obvious answer. However, I actually came up with something a bit different.
As I reflect upon each of the last sayings of Christ, I seem to approach it in different ways. In some cases, the meditation just comes to me and I write and write until it is written and then I go back and fill in the blanks with supporting documentation. For others, I had general ideas but I read first and then wrote with the insights in mind from what I had read. Then the first reflection was completely mine. It was late at night and I just wrote and posted it, it is primarily spiritual. I thought about adding some academic knowledge to it, but then I thought that maybe this was a good way to get into the mood of the reflections and so I left it.
But of all the reflections, this one has been the hardest. I have been praying on meditating on it since yesterday. Even while writing yesterday’s verse, I still tried to find a good angel on this one so as to try to present new information. I drew blanks and so I tried to research it. Unfortunately, most of the pages I read were anti-Catholic. They were writing to tell the world why we are wrong for celebrating the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.
I tried to not read too much of these as (1) I do not like their message and (2) I do not agree with their justification. Basically, they say that Jesus said “It is Finished” and so we cannot celebrate His Sacrifice because it only happened once….well, if you believe it the way they explain it, how could Sacrifice be redeeming for all of humanity. If it was localized to that fixed point in history and could not transcend time and space, how could Jesus’ death do anything for you and me 2,000 years later?
Perhaps this is a question best left to professional philosophers and theologians, which one day I hope to be. However, for now, lets look at what Jesus could really have meant when He said, “It is Finished.”
Scripture tells us that Jesus is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. So perhaps to understand what He is telling us we should look to the beginning and the end…
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came to be through him, and without him nothing came to be. What came to be through him was life, and this life was the light of the human race; the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1:1-5).
So what does this mean? Does anyone remember reading in Genesis about there being the Word that created life? We recall that God was there and that the Spirit was there (The Mighty Wind and the Breath of God are all symbolic of the Holy Spirit)…but where was the Word?
“In the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless wasteland, and darkness covered the abyss, while a mighty wind swept over the waters. Then God said, "Let there be light," and there was light” (Genesis 1:1-3).
God created the Heavens and the Earth and then He began to transform the Earth, first with His Spirit and then with his Words. For from this point forward, God created the sky, the sun, moon, oceans, animals and humanity by speaking. He said it and it happened. God’s word, the Word, created the World. Jesus was there in the beginning creating with Him.
But here is the important thing that we miss out on by not be able to understand the Hebrew style of writing for the Ancient Israelites. They had a verb tense which does not translate today; it is known as the aorist aspect. Basically, it refers to an action that occurs without regard for time. Therefore, what Genesis 1:3 really said was this:
"Then God said, is saying and will say, "Let there be light," and there was, is and always will be light."
But when Jesus said, “It is Finished,” He wasn’t referring to the act of creation as that would have meant that the world ended with His death. So if Jesus was not speaking about creation, perhaps He was referring to His Act of Redemption – but not that “it was finished” for just as God said for there to be light so many millions of years ago and so there is still light today; but because God continues to say, for all time, “let there be light,” so too does Christ’s sacrifice transcend our concept of time. His Sacrifice continues. He sacrificed, is sacrificing and will always sacrifice Himself as the Paschal Lamb for all time so that we (all of Humanity throughout time) can receive His redeeming grace.
Ok, but we still have not determined then what He did mean by saying, “It is Finished,” for that, let’s look at the end.
“The one who sat on the throne said, ‘Behold, I make all things new.’ Then he said, ‘Write these words down, for they are trustworthy and true.’ He said to me, ‘They are accomplished. I (am) the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give a gift from the spring of life-giving water. The victor will inherit these gifts, and I shall be his God, and he will be my son’” (Revelation 21:5-7).
The gifts inherited by the victor relate to Revelation 3:21
“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, (then) I will enter his house and dine with him, and he with me. I will give the victor the right to sit with me on my throne, as I myself first won the victory and sit with my Father on his throne.”
So what is it that is finished? His words are accomplished, which tell us the Truth of who He is and what He promises those who Love him, those whom He has given His Mother, whom He calls the Beloved Disciple and who Thirsts for His Love as He Thirsts for ours. He promises us that Good will overcome evil and that we will be co-heirs with Him in His Kingdom, to sit upon His Throne with Him.
And for good measure, John tells us why he wrote his Gospel in John 20-30-31:
>“Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of (his) disciples that are not written in this book. But these are written that you may (come to) believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through this belief you may have life in his name.”
Ok, so now that we know what Jesus meant when He said, “It is finished,” let us now look at what that means for us. Because, it is beautiful to know what awaits us in His Kingdom, but Jesus also said that His Kingdom is at hand, as Christians, we are already living in His Kingdom…and so where are His promises? There is still evil in world and I don’t sit on any throne along with Christ…so what gives?
For the answer to this, let us look to Revelation. This Book, also written by John (or so it is commonly accepted that he was the author), is one of the most difficult to understand of all the Books. But the truth is, as Catholics, we already know and understand Revelation because we live it every week..
When Jesus says that “it is finished,” the promises implied from Revelation are directly applicable to us through the Mass and the Eucharist. Let me explain:
There are four main parts of a Mass:
1. Penitential Rite
2. Liturgy of the Word
3. Liturgy of the Eucharist
4. Communion Rite
Our Mass is a Biblical expression of our faith. The Nicene Creed is completely based on Scripture and in Mass, we live our faith. Revelation also tells us of our lived faith. It begins with John brought into Heaven on a Sunday (Revelation 1:10), Chapter 2:5,16,21 begins our Penitential Rite. Also, the first 11 chapters are the readings of the letters to the 12 Churches – this is the Liturgy of the Word.
We are invited to the Liturgy of the Eucharist in Revelation 3:21: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, (then) I will enter his house and dine with him, and he with me.” However, it actually begins in chapter 11 when Heaven opens up. There is a lot of imagery in the next several chapters, some beautiful and others terrifying.
Chapter 12 tells of the Woman’s child, whom is at war with the Dragon. Then a Lamb is introduced in Chapter 13 and 14. In 14:3, we are told that the Lamb redeems us. In Chapter 19-20, Christ defeats the beast and the dead are judged. Interesting to note that during the Liturgy of the Eucharist, we acknowledge Jesus as the Woman’s Offspring as well as the Paschal Lamb and the Christ. The priest prays to deliver us from all evil and we petition the Lamb of God to have mercy on us and to grant us peace.
Finally, Chapter 21 ends with the Communion Rite in which we attend the Wedding Feast of the Lamb with the Bride, the New Jerusalem,. At the same time the New Jerusalem descends from Heaven to unite with the Church on Earth:
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth. The former heaven and the former earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. I also saw the holy city, a New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, God's dwelling is with the human race. He will dwell with them and they will be his people and God himself will always be with them (as their God). He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, (for) the old order has passed away." (Revelation 21:1-4).
It is in verse 6 of this Chapter that Jesus says that His words have been accomplished.
“It is Finished.”
So, do we as Catholics Re-Sacrifice the Lamb? No, we do not. We gloriously participate in the Heavenly Wedding Feast in which we celebrate Jesus’ Sacrifice which is always occurring. When the New Jerusalem descends upon us, we are united with Christ in Heaven. We are outside of time and space on a spiritual level. We are not re-sacrificing Christ on the Cross, but we are standing at the Foot of Cross with Him as His Beloved Disciples, we are with the Paschal Lamb in Heaven celebrating the Wedding Feast and we are on Earth celebrating Mass; all three at the same time.
When we lift up our Hearts, we are truly lifting them up to the Lord and when we sing Hosana (Save Us) in the Highest, we are singing of the Angels in Heaven who are joining their heavenly voices with ours, pleading for our salvation.
But greater still, as the New Jerusalem which descends upon us is outside of time, when we enter it, we are connected to every Catholic Mass throughout time, including the Heavenly Mass – this is the Communion of Saints.
So, as Christ dies on the Cross, as He suffers for us, He still tells us of the Glory He gives us. As we, those who crucified Him as well as those who are beloved by Him, stand there and watch His mortal body die in horrible agony, he uses all His words to tell us of the wonders that await us.
He tells us of our forgiveness, of our place with Him in Paradise, of His gift of His Mother to be our Mother, of His promise for our Resurrection, of His thirst for our Love and now, of the completion of our redemption which is not some far away event at the end of time, but something we can participate in every week…and for some, every day.
As we enter Good Friday, the only day of the Catholic Liturgical Year in which we cannot celebrate Mass, let us contemplate these sayings of Christ. And tonight, when I return from the Good Friday service at my Parish, my New Jerusalem here on Earth, I will post my final reflection on the last words Jesus spoke before he died, “Father, into your hands I commend my Spirit” (Luke 23:46)..
Well, Jesus did not say “I am finished,” rather, He said, “it is Finished.” So what is ‘it’?
Interestingly, I looked up the Greek word, τετελεσται, which translates to ‘It Is Finished,” could also refer to payment. Perhaps what Jesus was trying to say was “It has been paid.” When humanity first sinned, we all lost paradise. We became sinful people and for our sins, atonement must be made. However, we have fallen and no matter how many good works we do in our lifetime, we will never be good enough to make atonement or payment for our sins.
God is infinitely just and we are judged according to His justice. He says that we must make atonement, but the bail is set too high and we cannot pay it. And so He sent us someone who could. For the only sacrifice that would ever be redeeming enough to make reparations for the whole world would be God’s sacrifice. However, in order for the sacrifice to be able to apply to all of humanity, it had to be a human being’s sacrifice.
God wanted us to be reconciled to Him and so He sent us His only Son to pay the price for our sins. Throughout these reflections, I have demonstrated examples of how some of these sayings allude back to the Old Testament Prophecies. When Jesus says that ‘It is Finished,” He could be referring to His fulfillment of the Scriptures. This perhaps would be the obvious answer. However, I actually came up with something a bit different.
As I reflect upon each of the last sayings of Christ, I seem to approach it in different ways. In some cases, the meditation just comes to me and I write and write until it is written and then I go back and fill in the blanks with supporting documentation. For others, I had general ideas but I read first and then wrote with the insights in mind from what I had read. Then the first reflection was completely mine. It was late at night and I just wrote and posted it, it is primarily spiritual. I thought about adding some academic knowledge to it, but then I thought that maybe this was a good way to get into the mood of the reflections and so I left it.
But of all the reflections, this one has been the hardest. I have been praying on meditating on it since yesterday. Even while writing yesterday’s verse, I still tried to find a good angel on this one so as to try to present new information. I drew blanks and so I tried to research it. Unfortunately, most of the pages I read were anti-Catholic. They were writing to tell the world why we are wrong for celebrating the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.
I tried to not read too much of these as (1) I do not like their message and (2) I do not agree with their justification. Basically, they say that Jesus said “It is Finished” and so we cannot celebrate His Sacrifice because it only happened once….well, if you believe it the way they explain it, how could Sacrifice be redeeming for all of humanity. If it was localized to that fixed point in history and could not transcend time and space, how could Jesus’ death do anything for you and me 2,000 years later?
Perhaps this is a question best left to professional philosophers and theologians, which one day I hope to be. However, for now, lets look at what Jesus could really have meant when He said, “It is Finished.”
Scripture tells us that Jesus is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. So perhaps to understand what He is telling us we should look to the beginning and the end…
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came to be through him, and without him nothing came to be. What came to be through him was life, and this life was the light of the human race; the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it” (John 1:1-5).
So what does this mean? Does anyone remember reading in Genesis about there being the Word that created life? We recall that God was there and that the Spirit was there (The Mighty Wind and the Breath of God are all symbolic of the Holy Spirit)…but where was the Word?
“In the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless wasteland, and darkness covered the abyss, while a mighty wind swept over the waters. Then God said, "Let there be light," and there was light” (Genesis 1:1-3).
God created the Heavens and the Earth and then He began to transform the Earth, first with His Spirit and then with his Words. For from this point forward, God created the sky, the sun, moon, oceans, animals and humanity by speaking. He said it and it happened. God’s word, the Word, created the World. Jesus was there in the beginning creating with Him.
But here is the important thing that we miss out on by not be able to understand the Hebrew style of writing for the Ancient Israelites. They had a verb tense which does not translate today; it is known as the aorist aspect. Basically, it refers to an action that occurs without regard for time. Therefore, what Genesis 1:3 really said was this:
"Then God said, is saying and will say, "Let there be light," and there was, is and always will be light."
But when Jesus said, “It is Finished,” He wasn’t referring to the act of creation as that would have meant that the world ended with His death. So if Jesus was not speaking about creation, perhaps He was referring to His Act of Redemption – but not that “it was finished” for just as God said for there to be light so many millions of years ago and so there is still light today; but because God continues to say, for all time, “let there be light,” so too does Christ’s sacrifice transcend our concept of time. His Sacrifice continues. He sacrificed, is sacrificing and will always sacrifice Himself as the Paschal Lamb for all time so that we (all of Humanity throughout time) can receive His redeeming grace.
Ok, but we still have not determined then what He did mean by saying, “It is Finished,” for that, let’s look at the end.
“The one who sat on the throne said, ‘Behold, I make all things new.’ Then he said, ‘Write these words down, for they are trustworthy and true.’ He said to me, ‘They are accomplished. I (am) the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give a gift from the spring of life-giving water. The victor will inherit these gifts, and I shall be his God, and he will be my son’” (Revelation 21:5-7).
The gifts inherited by the victor relate to Revelation 3:21
“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, (then) I will enter his house and dine with him, and he with me. I will give the victor the right to sit with me on my throne, as I myself first won the victory and sit with my Father on his throne.”
So what is it that is finished? His words are accomplished, which tell us the Truth of who He is and what He promises those who Love him, those whom He has given His Mother, whom He calls the Beloved Disciple and who Thirsts for His Love as He Thirsts for ours. He promises us that Good will overcome evil and that we will be co-heirs with Him in His Kingdom, to sit upon His Throne with Him.
And for good measure, John tells us why he wrote his Gospel in John 20-30-31:
>“Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of (his) disciples that are not written in this book. But these are written that you may (come to) believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through this belief you may have life in his name.”
Ok, so now that we know what Jesus meant when He said, “It is finished,” let us now look at what that means for us. Because, it is beautiful to know what awaits us in His Kingdom, but Jesus also said that His Kingdom is at hand, as Christians, we are already living in His Kingdom…and so where are His promises? There is still evil in world and I don’t sit on any throne along with Christ…so what gives?
For the answer to this, let us look to Revelation. This Book, also written by John (or so it is commonly accepted that he was the author), is one of the most difficult to understand of all the Books. But the truth is, as Catholics, we already know and understand Revelation because we live it every week..
When Jesus says that “it is finished,” the promises implied from Revelation are directly applicable to us through the Mass and the Eucharist. Let me explain:
There are four main parts of a Mass:
1. Penitential Rite
2. Liturgy of the Word
3. Liturgy of the Eucharist
4. Communion Rite
Our Mass is a Biblical expression of our faith. The Nicene Creed is completely based on Scripture and in Mass, we live our faith. Revelation also tells us of our lived faith. It begins with John brought into Heaven on a Sunday (Revelation 1:10), Chapter 2:5,16,21 begins our Penitential Rite. Also, the first 11 chapters are the readings of the letters to the 12 Churches – this is the Liturgy of the Word.
We are invited to the Liturgy of the Eucharist in Revelation 3:21: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, (then) I will enter his house and dine with him, and he with me.” However, it actually begins in chapter 11 when Heaven opens up. There is a lot of imagery in the next several chapters, some beautiful and others terrifying.
Chapter 12 tells of the Woman’s child, whom is at war with the Dragon. Then a Lamb is introduced in Chapter 13 and 14. In 14:3, we are told that the Lamb redeems us. In Chapter 19-20, Christ defeats the beast and the dead are judged. Interesting to note that during the Liturgy of the Eucharist, we acknowledge Jesus as the Woman’s Offspring as well as the Paschal Lamb and the Christ. The priest prays to deliver us from all evil and we petition the Lamb of God to have mercy on us and to grant us peace.
Finally, Chapter 21 ends with the Communion Rite in which we attend the Wedding Feast of the Lamb with the Bride, the New Jerusalem,. At the same time the New Jerusalem descends from Heaven to unite with the Church on Earth:
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth. The former heaven and the former earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. I also saw the holy city, a New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, God's dwelling is with the human race. He will dwell with them and they will be his people and God himself will always be with them (as their God). He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, (for) the old order has passed away." (Revelation 21:1-4).
It is in verse 6 of this Chapter that Jesus says that His words have been accomplished.
“It is Finished.”
So, do we as Catholics Re-Sacrifice the Lamb? No, we do not. We gloriously participate in the Heavenly Wedding Feast in which we celebrate Jesus’ Sacrifice which is always occurring. When the New Jerusalem descends upon us, we are united with Christ in Heaven. We are outside of time and space on a spiritual level. We are not re-sacrificing Christ on the Cross, but we are standing at the Foot of Cross with Him as His Beloved Disciples, we are with the Paschal Lamb in Heaven celebrating the Wedding Feast and we are on Earth celebrating Mass; all three at the same time.
When we lift up our Hearts, we are truly lifting them up to the Lord and when we sing Hosana (Save Us) in the Highest, we are singing of the Angels in Heaven who are joining their heavenly voices with ours, pleading for our salvation.
But greater still, as the New Jerusalem which descends upon us is outside of time, when we enter it, we are connected to every Catholic Mass throughout time, including the Heavenly Mass – this is the Communion of Saints.
So, as Christ dies on the Cross, as He suffers for us, He still tells us of the Glory He gives us. As we, those who crucified Him as well as those who are beloved by Him, stand there and watch His mortal body die in horrible agony, he uses all His words to tell us of the wonders that await us.
He tells us of our forgiveness, of our place with Him in Paradise, of His gift of His Mother to be our Mother, of His promise for our Resurrection, of His thirst for our Love and now, of the completion of our redemption which is not some far away event at the end of time, but something we can participate in every week…and for some, every day.
As we enter Good Friday, the only day of the Catholic Liturgical Year in which we cannot celebrate Mass, let us contemplate these sayings of Christ. And tonight, when I return from the Good Friday service at my Parish, my New Jerusalem here on Earth, I will post my final reflection on the last words Jesus spoke before he died, “Father, into your hands I commend my Spirit” (Luke 23:46)..
Christ humbled himself becoming obedient unto death, even to death on a Cross. Because of this, Our Heavenly Father has exalted him and has bestowed upon him the name that is above every name, so that at the Name of Jesus, every knee should bend of those in heaven, on earth and under the earth, and every tongue should confess that the Lord Jesus Christ is in the glory of God the Father.
We adore your Holy Cross, O Lord, and we praise you because by your Holy Cross, you have redeemed the world. Amen.
Sources:http://www.nccbuscc.org/liturgy/arinze.shtmlhttp://www.salvationhistory.com/studies/lesson/supper_heaven_on_earth_the_liturgy_of_the_eucharisthttp://www.scripturecatholic.com/revelation_and_the_mass.htmlhttp://www.mycatholictradition.com/catholic-mass.html
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
I thirst
“I thirst” (John 19:28)
Two weeks ago I felt like going for a run. It was late morning on a Saturday and so I thought it would be cool. I went outside and began my work out. I did not take any water with me and after a while, I realized that it was really too hot to run without being properly hydrated or having water with me. After I was about a mile and a half away from home, I was so thirsty. All I could think about was how thirsty I was, how dry and uncomfortable my mouth felt, how achy my body felt and tired I was.This was the moment I heard the words, “I thirst,” resound in my mind. I began to contemplate His thirst on the Cross and I realized that I wanted to be thirsty. So I continued to run until I began to feel sick. I was terribly dehydrated when I crossed a small bridge standing over some stagnant water filled with algae and bacteria. Despite how disgusting it looked, all I could think of was my thirst and how much I wanted to drink it. Sure the water would have surely made me sick, but it would have satisfied the aching dryness of my mouth and perhaps cooled me for a time.
I prayed to God to give me the strength to make it home for as far out as I had gone, I still had to turn around to get home. For the reminder of my time outside, I contemplated Christ’s words, “I thirst.” This was when I decided to write these reflections. I made a vow to God to spend my Holy Week reflecting on His Sacrifice for us and how better to do that than reflect on His last words to us on the Cross?
So now I ask you, what did Christ mean when he said, “I Thirst”? It does seem like a strange thing to say. I mean everything else He has said thus far, as I have reflected upon them, have shown us our sinfulness and His redeeming love for us. So do we really think He was just telling us that He was biologically thirsty?
Before we address this question, I want to take a quick detour. The purpose of my blog is to find hope in a world of suffering, and so it would be befitting for me to address this. In Matthew 27:34, we are told that Jesus is given wine mixed with gall before they crucified Him but that He refused to drink it. Gall was actually used to numb pain. He could have taken a deep drink of this so that maybe the pain of the nails driving into His flesh and His tortured body hanging from the Cross would have been dulled. Maybe His crucifixion would not have been so painful; maybe He would not have suffered as much. But He refused to drink it.
What can this tell us about suffering? Christ sacrificed Himself on the Cross for us; He suffered in atonement for our sins. He had to suffer for this great act of redemption. Without human suffering we would not be saved.
With that said, let us return to the reflection on “I Thirst.” There are two very important things going on when Jesus tells us of His Thirst. First is an allusion to the First Passover and please remember that Jesus was crucified on Passover, this was why they broke the knees of the other men and pierced Him with a spear. The men had to be removed and their bodies attended to prior to Passover beginning. So, how does this relate to Passover?
Exodus 12:21-23 says, “Moses called all the elders of Israel and said to them, ‘Go and procure lambs for your families, and slaughter them as Passover victims. Then take a bunch of hyssop, and dipping it in the blood that is in the basin, sprinkle the lintel and the two doorposts with this blood. But none of you shall go outdoors until morning. For the LORD will go by, striking down the Egyptians. Seeing the blood on the lintel and the two doorposts, the LORD will pass over that door and not let the destroyer come into your houses to strike you down.’”
Psalm 51:7-12
“True, I was born guilty, a sinner, even as my mother conceived me.
Still, you insist on sincerity of heart; in my inmost being teach me wisdom.
Cleanse me with hyssop, that I may be pure;
wash me, make me whiter than snow.
Let me hear sounds of joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Turn away your face from my sins; blot out all my guilt.
A clean heart create for me, God; renew in me a steadfast spirit.”
“True, I was born guilty, a sinner, even as my mother conceived me.
Still, you insist on sincerity of heart; in my inmost being teach me wisdom.
Cleanse me with hyssop, that I may be pure;
wash me, make me whiter than snow.
Let me hear sounds of joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Turn away your face from my sins; blot out all my guilt.
A clean heart create for me, God; renew in me a steadfast spirit.”
So what is the connection? Hyssop! Hyssop was used to mark the homes which the destroyer would pass over and then used again to cleanse the Psalmist from his sins. And how is this related to Jesus?
“After this, aware that everything was now finished, in order that the scripture might be fulfilled, Jesus said, "I thirst." There was a vessel filled with common wine. So they put a sponge soaked in wine on a sprig of hyssop and put it up to his mouth” (John 19:28-29).
He said, “I Thirst” in order to fulfill scripture. The Roman guards reacted to His statement by giving Him wine soaked on a sponge upon a sprig of Hyssop. Wine, what we now know to be the Blood of Christ and Christ, the Paschal Lamb. The Blood of Christ, shed to cleanse us of our sins. What an awesome message in two little words!
But there is still another aspect of this that is more beautiful. We know why Christ said He thirsts, but do we know what He thirsted for? Actually, I learned this just recently during my Parish Priest’s homily on The Woman at the Well (John 4). Do you recall that in my reflection on Jesus’ Third Saying, “Woman, Behold your son…” (John 19:26-27), I mentioned that John’s Gospel is also known as the Gospel of Love?
Well, my priest, Fr. Alejandro, was the first to point this out to me. In His homily on the Woman at the Well, he spoke of the woman’s thirst. What was she thirsty for and why could nothing ever satisfy her thirst? She was thirsty for love and she was looking in all the wrong places. Jesus said He could give her a drink of Living Water so that she would never thirst again- The Love of God. Yes, this is also a reference to the Holy Spirit, but one understanding of the Spirit is the He is the Love between the Father and the Son. She thirsts for Love.
Then Fr. Alejandro drew the parallel to Jesus’ Fifth Word, “I Thirst.” What did Jesus Thirst for? What does He still Thirst for? Our Love.
“After this, aware that everything was now finished, in order that the scripture might be fulfilled, Jesus said, "I thirst." There was a vessel filled with common wine. So they put a sponge soaked in wine on a sprig of hyssop and put it up to his mouth” (John 19:28-29).
He said, “I Thirst” in order to fulfill scripture. The Roman guards reacted to His statement by giving Him wine soaked on a sponge upon a sprig of Hyssop. Wine, what we now know to be the Blood of Christ and Christ, the Paschal Lamb. The Blood of Christ, shed to cleanse us of our sins. What an awesome message in two little words!
But there is still another aspect of this that is more beautiful. We know why Christ said He thirsts, but do we know what He thirsted for? Actually, I learned this just recently during my Parish Priest’s homily on The Woman at the Well (John 4). Do you recall that in my reflection on Jesus’ Third Saying, “Woman, Behold your son…” (John 19:26-27), I mentioned that John’s Gospel is also known as the Gospel of Love?
Well, my priest, Fr. Alejandro, was the first to point this out to me. In His homily on the Woman at the Well, he spoke of the woman’s thirst. What was she thirsty for and why could nothing ever satisfy her thirst? She was thirsty for love and she was looking in all the wrong places. Jesus said He could give her a drink of Living Water so that she would never thirst again- The Love of God. Yes, this is also a reference to the Holy Spirit, but one understanding of the Spirit is the He is the Love between the Father and the Son. She thirsts for Love.
Then Fr. Alejandro drew the parallel to Jesus’ Fifth Word, “I Thirst.” What did Jesus Thirst for? What does He still Thirst for? Our Love.
Psalm 69:19-21
You know the insults I receive, and my shame and dishonor; my foes are all known to you. Insults have broken my heart, so that I am in despair.
I looked for pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none.
They gave me poison for food, and for my thirst
they gave me vinegar to drink.
Another translation of Psalm 69:20 is “I looked for love and I found none.”
You know the insults I receive, and my shame and dishonor; my foes are all known to you. Insults have broken my heart, so that I am in despair.
I looked for pity, but there was none; and for comforters, but I found none.
They gave me poison for food, and for my thirst
they gave me vinegar to drink.
Another translation of Psalm 69:20 is “I looked for love and I found none.”
He wants our love but instead we give Him vinegar. This reminds me of my thirst when I was running. I wanted cool, clean, sweet water but I was so thirsty, I maybe would have settled for the stagnant water that would have certainly made me ill.
How often do we live our lives searching for love, happiness, success, money, etc.? These things do not lead to true happiness. They are not bad things, but if we make our lives all about obtaining these things and forget He who is true and authentic Joy, than we are doing no better than drinking stagnant water. It will make us spiritually ill.
How often do we live our lives searching for love, happiness, success, money, etc.? These things do not lead to true happiness. They are not bad things, but if we make our lives all about obtaining these things and forget He who is true and authentic Joy, than we are doing no better than drinking stagnant water. It will make us spiritually ill.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life”
(John 3:16).
(John 3:16).
Jesus died on the cross so that we might live, he suffered without accepting the numbing gall, so that He would be sure to feel the pain completely, He suffered without guilt because of His great, absolute and infinite Love for us. Despite that we are ignoring Him, taunting Him, wounding Him and betraying Him, He never stops giving to us.
He gives us Salvation, His Mother, and His never ending Love. All He asks in return is for us to love Him too.
He gives us Salvation, His Mother, and His never ending Love. All He asks in return is for us to love Him too.
Oh my Jesus, I come into your presence so aware of my human frailty and yet overwhelmed by your love for me. You carried your cross to sacrifice your life to redeem mine because of your love for me.
A love which I do not deserve for all the times I abandoned you
and sought out worldly substitutions for Your Love.
But today I choose to love you with my whole heart, and I ask your pardon, oh Lord, for my sins against you. My Most Beloved Jesus, please forgive me. Please help my love for you to grow more and more every day and teach me to rest in that love.
Please allow me to stand at the foot of the cross with you and to quench your thirst by loving you. You died on the cross for love of me; and so I offer my life to you, My Beloved. To you, oh God, I lift up my soul and
give to you all that I am, but most importantly, I give you my love
and I accept your Love for me.
Amen.
“As long as you do not know in a very intimate way
that Jesus is thirsty for you, it will be impossible for you
to know who He wants to be for you,
nor who He wants you to be for Him.”
- Blessed Mother Theresa of Calcutta
For additional reflection of Christ's Thirst for our Love, please read Behold the Heart of Jesus that Thirst for souls.
Sources:
http://www.mcpriests.com/03_I_thirst_Shroud_EN.htm
http://www.catholicapologetics.info/library/sacredheart/trulve.htm
http://www.fpclive.org/sermons10/S_Mar21_10.pdf
http://www.biblecenter.com/sermons/sevensayingsfromthecrossithirst.htm
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Why have you forsaken me
"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Mark 15:34)
One of the first questions I had when I first returned to the Church was why did Christ say this on the Cross? To me, it almost sounded like he did not trust God, that he thought God abandoned Him. It seemed so odd. I mean Christ knew this was going to happen. How many times did he allude to it when speaking to the disciples? I just didn’t understand what this meant and so, like I have always done since I was a little girl, I asked my dad.
My dad, who is also Catholic, responded to me in the way that anyone would who had been brought up in the Baptist Church; he told me to pull out my Bible. At his instruction, I turned to Psalm 22 and read it all the way through. After this, he asked me to answer my own question. And so I ask the same of you. Read Psalm 22 (posted below from the New Living Translation) and contemplate what Christ meant when he said, “My God, my God, why have you Forsaken me?”
Psalms 22
My God, my God! Why have you forsaken me?
Why do you remain so distant? Why do you ignore my cries for help?
Every day I call to you, my God, but you do not answer.
Every night you hear my voice, but I find no relief.
Yet you are holy. The praises of Israel surround your throne.
Our ancestors trusted in you, and you rescued them.
You heard their cries for help and saved them.
They put their trust in you and were never disappointed.
But I am a worm and not a man. I am scorned and despised by all!
Everyone who sees me mocks me.
They sneer and shake their heads, saying,
Is this the one who relies on the LORD? Then let the LORD save him!
If the LORD loves him so much, let the LORD rescue him!"
Yet you brought me safely from my mother's womb
and led me to trust you when I was a nursing infant.
I was thrust upon you at my birth.
You have been my God from the moment I was born.
Do not stay so far from me, for trouble is near,
and no one else can help me.
My enemies surround me like a herd of bulls;
fierce bulls of Bashan have hemmed me in!
Like roaring lions attacking their prey,
they come at me with open mouths.
My life is poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart is like wax, melting within me.
My strength has dried up like sunbaked clay.
My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.
You have laid me in the dust and left me for dead.
My enemies surround me like a pack of dogs;
an evil gang closes in on me.
They have pierced my hands and feet. I can count every bone in my body.
My enemies stare at me and gloat.
They divide my clothes among themselves and throw dice for my garments.
O LORD, do not stay away!
You are my strength; come quickly to my aid!
Rescue me from a violent death; spare my precious life from these dogs.
Snatch me from the lions' jaws,
and from the horns of these wild oxen.
Then I will declare the wonder of your name to my brothers and sisters.
I will praise you among all your people.
Praise the LORD, all you who fear him!
Honor him, all you descendants of Jacob!
Show him reverence, all you descendants of Israel!
For he has not ignored the suffering of the needy.
He has not turned and walked away.
He has listened to their cries for help.
I will praise you among all the people;
I will fulfill my vows in the presence of those who worship you.
The poor will eat and be satisfied.
All who seek the LORD will praise him.
Their hearts will rejoice with everlasting joy.
The whole earth will acknowledge the LORD and return to him.
People from every nation will bow down before him.
For the LORD is king! He rules all the nations.
Let the rich of the earth feast and worship.
Let all mortals -- those born to die -- bow down in his presence.
Future generations will also serve him.
Our children will hear about the wonders of the Lord.
His righteous acts will be told to those yet unborn.
They will hear about everything he has done.
So, what did Jesus mean when He quoted the first line of this psalm while on the Cross? Well, to understand that, it is important to understand the Jews of that time. Do not forget that Jesus Christ was Jewish. He was raised a Jew within a Jewish Culture. As a Jew, like our Gospel writers and the other Jews of the time period, He would have been very familiar with the Old Testament.
It was common then to quote Psalms by simply saying the first line of the Psalm. So when Jesus says, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” He is not asking God where He went? He is not telling us that God has abandoned Him. No, quite to the contrary; He is telling us that He is the one foretold in Psalm 22. The people who heard Him would have understood what He meant as they would also have been very familiar with the Psalms. But if Christ did not say this because He felt abandoned, what is the significance?
Christ is alluding to what will come – the fulfillment of God’s Promise to us as declared in Psalm 22.
“For he has not ignored the suffering of the needy.
He has not turned and walked away.
He has listened to their cries for help.
I will praise you among all the people;
I will fulfill my vows in the presence of those who worship you.
The poor will eat and be satisfied.
All who seek the LORD will praise him.
Their hearts will rejoice with everlasting joy.
When Jesus speaks His Fourth Saying, He is promising us the great joy that will come to us when we fully realize the Redemptive Power of His Sacrifice. We may mock Him and jeer at Him during His final moments, but He knows that the Father’s Love is transformative and infinite. When He has fulfilled the prophecy, we will turn to the Father, The Son and the Spirit and we will praise Him with everlasting Joy.
Who ever thought such a seemingly sad statement made by a dying man in agony while nailed to cross, referred not His own predicament but to the fate of those who Crucified Him, you and me. And it was not filled with spite or hatred for what we did. No, as the first Saying tells us, even on the Cross, He pleads for the Father to forgive us. Again, Christ tells us that have the Father’s love, that our suffering can be in solidarity with His, our Death can be with Him so that His Resurrection can be ours too. Even on the Cross, Jesus displays such infinite Love.
Sweet Jesus! For how many ages have you hung upon your Cross
and still men pass you by and ignore you?
How often have I passed by you,
heedless of your great Sorrow, your many Wounds, your infinite Love?
How often have I stood before you, not to comfort and console you,
but to add to your Sorrows, to deepen your Wounds, to spurn your Love?
You have stretched forth your Hands to raise me up,
and I have taken those Hands and bent them back on the Cross.
You have loved me with an infinite love,
and I have taken advantage of that love to sin the more against you.
My ingratitude has pierced your Sacred Heart,
and your Heart responds only with an outpouring of your Love in your Precious Blood.
Lamb of God Who takes away the sins of the world, have mercy on me.
Amen
Monday, April 18, 2011
Behold your mother
“Woman, behold, your son." Then he said to the disciple, "Behold, your mother." (John 19:26-27)
The Third Word or Saying of Christ on the Cross is from the Gospel of John. To begin, perhaps it is a bit prudent to share some background and exegetical information about the four Gospels. Matthew, Mark and Luke are called the Synoptic Gospels. This is because these three Gospels are very similar to one another. Mark is thought to be written first and perhaps was written as a catechetical tool to welcome new members into Christianity. Luke and Matthew were written a little later and both incorporate Mark’s Gospel as well as other possible sources (such as the Q Source which is theorized to be a list of Jesus’ sayings). Luke is writing to a Gentile audience while Matthew is writing to a Jewish audience (thus his emphases on the Law and fulfillment of the Law, etc).
But what about John’s Gospel? This Gospel account is completely different than the other three. But why? The three Synoptic Gospels were thought to have been written between 70 A.D and 80 A.D., while John was most likely written around 90 A.D. Therefore, by the time John wrote his Gospel account, the other three were already well known so there would not have been a need to simply tell the same story again. So, he tells a different story.
Some people say that John’s Gospel is the Gospel of Love. Probably one of the most quoted scripture passages is John 3:16, “For God so loved the World that He gave His only Begotten Son.” It could also be viewed as the Gospel of the Holy Spirit.
However, a very significant characteristic about John’s Gospel is his decision to not properly name two key people: Mary and one of the Twelve Apostles. Mary is only known as the Mother of Jesus and the apostle is only known as the Disciple whom Jesus loved. These are the two people Jesus is speaking to in today’s saying.
And this brings me to the question of who is the ‘Beloved Disciple.’ The Gospel Writer wrote this disciple as faceless and unnamed so that we can ask and ponder over this question.
All the references tell us that the Disciple whom Jesus loved wais unswervingly loyal to Jesus, he loved him absolutely and he was devoted as was the only disciple who was with Christ and His Mother at Calvary.
So why call him the Beloved Disciple? Why leave him faceless and unnamed? Why leave him as an empty silhouette of an abstract personality?
Just as we are all responsible for Christ’s crucifixion as I pointed out in my first reflection, we have all been forgiven and as Luke7:37-50 points out, the more we are forgiven, the more we have to be thankful for. How much more can be forgiven than every sin, what greater ransom for our sins than that which can grant us eternal life?
So where does that leave us? If you owed so much money that you could never pay it and someone came a long and settled that debt for you, would you not be eternally grateful? Would you not be unswervingly loyal? Love that person absolutely and remain steadfastly devoted, even in the face of death? But the key here is love. Christ loves us and He asks us to love him. The message in John’s Gospel, regarding the Beloved Disciple, is that if we accept Christ’s love and love Him with all our hearts, mind and souls, we, too, are the Beloved Disciple, the one whom Jesus Loves.
It is interesting to note that the Beloved Disciple is mentioned by this title about five times in the Gospel (John 13:23, 19:26, 20:2, 21:7, 21:20). Now, what I found to be most significant was that John did not refer to this disciple as the one whom Jesus loved until John 13:23 immediately after Jesus announced that one among them would betray him. The very next seen depicts the Beloved Disciple as reclining on Jesus’ breast.
I could not help but wonder and reflect upon the juxtaposition of these two passages? We are guilty of Christ’s death through our own sinfulness but we also love Him and He loves us, so could we perhaps be both the betrayer and the beloved, sitting together at the table of Christ? On one hand, leaning against his breast in fullness of love, but on the other plotting against him for our own worldly desires?
We betray him with every sin, but when we accept His forgiveness and Love and truly allow His love to transform us into the disciple that would stand next to His Mother at the Foot of the Cross, we become the Beloved Disciple – betrayer and beloved in one person.
So looking at the third saying again, let us read it with the understanding that we are the Disciple whom Jesus Loved: “Woman, behold your child,” then looking at you, He said, “child, behold your Mother.”
So now we must turn to the second person in the Third Saying of Christ and that is the Woman. John loves symbolism. Aside from the Passion and Death of Christ, the Wedding at Cana is the only time we see Mary in John’s Gospel. And while John refers to her as the Mother of Jesus; Jesus, Himself, refers to her as ‘Woman.’ This is an allusion to the woman in Genesis 3:15, “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; He will strike at your head, while you strike at his heel." By calling her ‘Woman,’ John is showing us that Jesus is the offspring who will strike the head of the serpent.[1]
So, now we know who the woman is but why is she important to us now? Her Offspring has done His job, what more is there for her to do?
Jesus gave us so much more than we deserve when He gave up His life for us but yet he still wants to give us more and so He gives us His mother to take as our Mother. Mary, the woman that God chose among all women to be the Mother of His Son. Mary, the new Arc of the Covenant, the new Eve, the most Blessed of all Women, surely the most glorified creature of all creatures in the universe, the Queen of Heaven and Mother of God – this woman, Mary the Immaculate, has been given to us to be our Mother too.
There is another important consideration in John’s Gospel. According to Father George Montague, SM, a Marianist Priest and Founder of the Brothers of the Beloved Disciple, Mary conceived Jesus through the Power of the Holy Spirit. Jesus gave Mary to the Beloved Disciple before He died. However, as the Synoptic Gospels recount His Death, they say that he “breathed his last” (Mark 15:37, Luke 23:46). However, John says that he “handed over His Spirit” (John 19:30) [2]. And so Father Montague combines the elements of Virgin Birth, Spirit and Jesus’ exhortation on being born again of Water and Spirit (John 3:5) into one thought – “As Jesus was born of Mary by the Power of the Holy Spirit, so the disciples are born again, becoming brothers and sisters of Jesus, children of the Father and children of Mary through the Power of the Holy Spirit”[3]
Jesus gave us many things, salvation, forgiveness, love, the Eucharist, the Holy Spirit and His Mother. If we are the Beloved Disciple than the Third Saying represents one of the ways we are invited to receive all that Jesus has to give, which is to accept the gift of Mary as our Mother”[4]
Just as we are called to have a personal relationship with Christ, we also can have a personal relationship with Christ’s Mother, through Christ. And just as she wept at the Foot of the Cross for her Son, whom she loves more than life itself, she also weeps for us, her children, whom she also loves as a mother loves her child.
For some people it may be difficult to see Mary as mother, perhaps because we did not have a strong maternal presence in our lives, perhaps for any number of reasons. If this is the case, maybe this reflection can be an invitation or an opportunity to get to know Mary, the woman God choose among all women, to be your Mother too.
Behold your Mother.
Lord Jesus we gather in spirit at the foot of the cross
with your Mother and the disciple whom you loved.
We ask your pardon for our sins which are the cause of your death.
We thank you for remembering us in that hour of salvation
and for giving us Mary as our Mother.
Holy Virgin take us under your protection
and open us to the action of the Holy Spirit.
St. John, obtain for us the grace of taking Mary into our life
as you did and of assisting her in her mission.
May the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit be glorified
in all places through the Immaculate Virgin Mary.
Amen.
[1] George Montague, The Visions of the Beloved Disciple: Meeting Jesus in the Gospel of John, (Staten Island, New York: St Pauls, 2000), 73
[2] Ibid.,78
[3] Ibid.,79
[4] Ibid.,80
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Today you will be with Me in Paradise...
“Amen, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:43).
As you know, Jesus was speaking to one of the men who had been crucified next to him. This man, a thief had asked Jesus “Remember me when you come into your Kingdom,” and Jesus replied to him when he said that he would be with him in paradise. But just who is the man on the cross?
I know that when I first heard this story and up until just recently, in fact, I had always thought that this man was just there already. I had never really thought about how he got there. But I discovered that Roman law dictated that executions had to be carried out the same day as the sentence. Therefore, it can be concluded that the thief was at Jesus’ trial. He knew Jesus was innocent because he witnessed the conversations between Jesus and Pilate. He saw the crowds choose Barnabas and he watched as the Roman centurions flogged, tormented and ridiculed Jesus. Finally, he was a part of the deadly procession to Golgotha. This man was not simply there already, but had been with Jesus the whole day.
For that matter, so had the other thief – the man who said to Jesus, “Are you not the Messiah? Save yourself and us" (Luke 23:39). They had both been witness to the same cruel and callous treatments, harsher then even their own as ancient pictures depict the two thieves to have been tied to their crosses while Jesus had been nailed. Yet these two men had far different attitudes towards our savior. It is these two attitudes that I want to reflect upon.
I wish that I could stand here before you today and tell you that I have led the perfect Christian life. But this is simply not true. I have struggled with my faith my whole life and I struggle with it still. There have been times in my life when I saw going to church as laborious and almost like a punishment. I would be happy if I got sick and was excused from going. As I grew older and lived on my own, I did not always attend church but I did always want Jesus to be with me when I was having a problem.
I think you could have labeled me as a ‘bad day’ Christian because I only turned to God when I needed help. “Lord, you are the great all-powerful God; can you not help me out of this mess?” Does this not sound like “If you are the messiah then save me?”
I read a very interesting analogy comparing some people’s view of God as a car-jack. In this analogy the car is our life and a flat tire represents our problems. Do you know where I keep my car-jack? Do you think I give it a place of reverence in my car for all the times it helped me when I was stranded? No, I keep it in my trunk – hidden away and only taken out when needed. Then, when I am driving and my tire is flat, I say, “If you are such a good-jack, fix my tire. Fix my marriage, or fix my job, or fix my life”[1].
I have said this so many times, for years Jesus was my car-jack, only to be called upon when I needed to change a tire. If my car-jack didn’t do its job, I would become angry…angry at God, angry with myself, angry with the world.
The thing that I never understood until now is that I have acted like the unrepentant thief on the cross. Every time I demanded Jesus to help me through something, I was telling Jesus to save me and afterwards, I would callously put him back in the trunk—hidden until I needed his help again.
Perhaps most of us, at one time or another has been the first thief. But have we also been the second thief? Have we also been repentant?
The second thief was penitent; he knew his crimes and knew he was being punished justly. He feared God and knew Jesus was King and he did not ask for salvation for his mortal life but for his spiritual life. “Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.”
I have a history that involves a lot that I am ashamed of, but it is not the details of my history as a sinner that are important, for my sins have been washed away. What does matter is that I sought redemption and when I did, I was crucified alongside Jesus, allowing my body to die to sin so that I might be remembered in His kingdom.
If you are wondering why I would say that I was crucified with Jesus, I would like to examine one more aspect of the Gospel account and that is the narrative in comparison to Mark and Matthew. Both Mark and Mathew wrote of the criminals who were crucified with Jesus; however, neither goes into detail. They are nothing more than passing footnotes. In Mark, it reads, “Those who were crucified with him also kept abusing him (Mark 15:32) and in Mathew it says, “The revolutionaries who were crucified with him also kept abusing him in the same way.” (Mathew 27:44).
So why did Luke go into such detail, even to say that Jesus spoke to the man, welcoming him into paradise. That, I think has to do with who Luke was speaking to through his gospel. It is commonly accepted that Luke was writing to the Gentiles. Luke traveled with Paul and they ministered to the Gentiles, wanting them to know the Christian message was for them too. So, who was the man on the cross? Was he just a pawn in the gospel to show us God’s forgiveness? Or is he something more?
As I mentioned, Luke traveled with Paul and Paul said in Galatians 2:20 “For through the law I died to the law, that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ.” Luke was not writing of the thieves on the cross to simply make the scene more dramatic. He was trying to tell us something – that Christ came for us all. He came so we would all be with him in Paradise.
When Jesus spoke his words on the cross he was not speaking to one man but to all humankind. We are called to be co-crucified with Christ[2]. It is in this humbling of ourselves, through our own suffering and repentance that we may find the grace to say, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.” And it is our greatest hope that on that day, Jesus will turn to each of us, as he did the thief, and say, “Amen, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”
I know that when I first heard this story and up until just recently, in fact, I had always thought that this man was just there already. I had never really thought about how he got there. But I discovered that Roman law dictated that executions had to be carried out the same day as the sentence. Therefore, it can be concluded that the thief was at Jesus’ trial. He knew Jesus was innocent because he witnessed the conversations between Jesus and Pilate. He saw the crowds choose Barnabas and he watched as the Roman centurions flogged, tormented and ridiculed Jesus. Finally, he was a part of the deadly procession to Golgotha. This man was not simply there already, but had been with Jesus the whole day.
For that matter, so had the other thief – the man who said to Jesus, “Are you not the Messiah? Save yourself and us" (Luke 23:39). They had both been witness to the same cruel and callous treatments, harsher then even their own as ancient pictures depict the two thieves to have been tied to their crosses while Jesus had been nailed. Yet these two men had far different attitudes towards our savior. It is these two attitudes that I want to reflect upon.
I wish that I could stand here before you today and tell you that I have led the perfect Christian life. But this is simply not true. I have struggled with my faith my whole life and I struggle with it still. There have been times in my life when I saw going to church as laborious and almost like a punishment. I would be happy if I got sick and was excused from going. As I grew older and lived on my own, I did not always attend church but I did always want Jesus to be with me when I was having a problem.
I think you could have labeled me as a ‘bad day’ Christian because I only turned to God when I needed help. “Lord, you are the great all-powerful God; can you not help me out of this mess?” Does this not sound like “If you are the messiah then save me?”
I read a very interesting analogy comparing some people’s view of God as a car-jack. In this analogy the car is our life and a flat tire represents our problems. Do you know where I keep my car-jack? Do you think I give it a place of reverence in my car for all the times it helped me when I was stranded? No, I keep it in my trunk – hidden away and only taken out when needed. Then, when I am driving and my tire is flat, I say, “If you are such a good-jack, fix my tire. Fix my marriage, or fix my job, or fix my life”[1].
I have said this so many times, for years Jesus was my car-jack, only to be called upon when I needed to change a tire. If my car-jack didn’t do its job, I would become angry…angry at God, angry with myself, angry with the world.
The thing that I never understood until now is that I have acted like the unrepentant thief on the cross. Every time I demanded Jesus to help me through something, I was telling Jesus to save me and afterwards, I would callously put him back in the trunk—hidden until I needed his help again.
Perhaps most of us, at one time or another has been the first thief. But have we also been the second thief? Have we also been repentant?
The second thief was penitent; he knew his crimes and knew he was being punished justly. He feared God and knew Jesus was King and he did not ask for salvation for his mortal life but for his spiritual life. “Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.”
I have a history that involves a lot that I am ashamed of, but it is not the details of my history as a sinner that are important, for my sins have been washed away. What does matter is that I sought redemption and when I did, I was crucified alongside Jesus, allowing my body to die to sin so that I might be remembered in His kingdom.
If you are wondering why I would say that I was crucified with Jesus, I would like to examine one more aspect of the Gospel account and that is the narrative in comparison to Mark and Matthew. Both Mark and Mathew wrote of the criminals who were crucified with Jesus; however, neither goes into detail. They are nothing more than passing footnotes. In Mark, it reads, “Those who were crucified with him also kept abusing him (Mark 15:32) and in Mathew it says, “The revolutionaries who were crucified with him also kept abusing him in the same way.” (Mathew 27:44).
So why did Luke go into such detail, even to say that Jesus spoke to the man, welcoming him into paradise. That, I think has to do with who Luke was speaking to through his gospel. It is commonly accepted that Luke was writing to the Gentiles. Luke traveled with Paul and they ministered to the Gentiles, wanting them to know the Christian message was for them too. So, who was the man on the cross? Was he just a pawn in the gospel to show us God’s forgiveness? Or is he something more?
As I mentioned, Luke traveled with Paul and Paul said in Galatians 2:20 “For through the law I died to the law, that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ.” Luke was not writing of the thieves on the cross to simply make the scene more dramatic. He was trying to tell us something – that Christ came for us all. He came so we would all be with him in Paradise.
When Jesus spoke his words on the cross he was not speaking to one man but to all humankind. We are called to be co-crucified with Christ[2]. It is in this humbling of ourselves, through our own suffering and repentance that we may find the grace to say, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.” And it is our greatest hope that on that day, Jesus will turn to each of us, as he did the thief, and say, “Amen, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”
Jesus on the cross, I love you. As I stand near the cross, help me listen to Your words with faith and love. Let Your love for the Good Thief inspire and console me. Give me some of that freedom to open myself to others, to never lose hope in them. Help me, Lord, to understand that You invite me too, to paradise. Amen.
[1] Piper, John, Today You will be Me in Paradise, (Good Friday Reflection, Bethlehem Baptist Church, April 17, 1981). Retrieved from http://www.soundofgrace.com/piper81/%20041781.htm.
[2] Heaster, Duncan, The Death of the Cross, (Online Source, n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.carelinks.net/books/dh/cross/1-1-10Today_You_With_Me_Paradise.htm.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Father Forgive Them...
When Jesus was crucified, he suffered for three hours on the cross. During this time the people around him who had crucified him jeered at him and they mocked him. The only people of all his apostles and friends who were with him were his Mother, Mary, Mary Magdalen and John, the Beloved Disciple. During this time, Christ spoke seven times from the cross. Over the next seven days, I intend to post a reflection on each of his sayings... "Father, forgive them, they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34)
Can you imagine the pain Christ endured? He was beaten, scourged - whipped so badly that pieces of his flesh was ripped from his body. After he was whipped and beaten close to the point of death, he was further mocked with a crown of thorns jabbed harshly into his head. Each razor sharp thorn piercing his skin and tearing it little by little with every moment, every time he wrinkles his brow, wants to cry out in pain. Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, cannot even cry out in pain without bringing about more pain.
It hurts for him to breathe, to move, the stand to sit. All he can feel is every wound on his body. He knew this would happen when he was in the Garden of Gethsemene. He knew his fate then and he feared it, so much so that as he sweat blood, he cried to his Father to take this cup from him, but also accepted the Father's will, "not my will but yours be done." Oh yes, he could have turned away, he could have denied his ministry, his purpose and our salvation. But he didn't.
As he stands there with the thousands of bloody gouges all over his body, feeling excruciating pain in every part of his tortured body, he still says 'Yes.' He says yes to suffering, yes to death on a cross and yes to the Father's love for all of us.
Even as the guards give him his cross to carry up to Golgotha, even as they continue to beat him, laugh at him as he falls not once but three times under the weight of the heavy cross, he still says yes.
Even as they hammer the first nail into his wrist, and then into his second. Even as they strike the nail into his feet and raise the cross up. Even as he is on the cross, held up only by nails in his wrists and feet, as he struggles for breath and puts more pressure on his feet so he can fill his damaged lungs with air, even as his mother looks at him in horror, her son in his last moments of life and she is powerless to do anything for him. Even as all this is happening, he still says yes to us.
He says yes to us when he says, "Father forgive them for the know not what they do" (Luke 23:34). Perhaps we think he is speaking to the Roman guards who were following orders or the Pharisees who were so against him. Maybe it was the Saduccees who were politically motivated or the Jews who supported Barrabas...but maybe he was speaking to you and me? Maybe he was speaking to all of humanity...
His death gave us all salvation - he paid the price for all our sins. The scourging, the crown of thorns, the weight of the cross, the nails hammered into his flesh - all of it was my doing. I scourged him, I put the crown of thorns into his flesh, I laughed at him when he fell and I drove those nails into his wrists and feet, I crucified Jesus. I killed him. And so did you.
"Father forgive them for they know not what they do." Even as we were killing him, he still prayed for God to forgive us. Even as we were so unworthy of even being his enemy, he loved us. He loves us still.
He said yes to me. When I nailed him to the cross with my bare hands, he said "Yes, my love, I will die for you. I will die so you may live." Jesus, my Lord, please forgive me for my part in your death. Thank you for your love and for your sacrifice. I know that I can never be worthy of your love and I am always astonished that you continue to offer it to me - that you continue to offer yourself to me in every way despite my unworth.
Dear Lord, remembering the hour when You experienced death
So that we might have Eternal Life,
May we appreciate in our hearts the necessity of Your sacrifice for us
And with Your help, Your guidance, and Your grace,
May we be made worthy of it.
Amen
Friday, April 8, 2011
Priest: Husbands and Fathers to us all
I recently met our new Arch-Bishop and it was awesome! He is the most loving and warm man I have ever met, priest, religious or lay! He greets you with a hug and is very gracious and humble in all that he says and does. I cannot explain how much I love priests!
I know that there are some that don't do as they should, but there are people everywhere who do not do as they should. Any good priest will tell you that he is a sinner too and that he needs confession and the sacraments as much as the lay. Any good priest will serve the Church with humility and grace. But most of all will serve with love - Love for God and Love for neighbor.
A good priest will think this way because he knows that he is human too. No one is perfect except for Jesus. Priests are human and they make mistakes - some might be criminal too - but there are such people everywhere in this world...not just the Church.
Perhaps we think that a priest should be held to a higher standard because of his calling. Its funny how if a priest makes a mistake, such as possibly has an affair with a consenting adult, it is so scandalous and an outrage but if a married man does the same thing it is not such a big deal. Breaking a vow is wrong and both have erred, but through the love of Christ, both are offered forgiveness.
But I digress, I did not intend to post about priests except only to say that they need our love. They are human too and like anyone else, they have needs for community, for family and for friends. Don't see your priest as some abstract leader in your church - he is not a robot who comes in and consecrates the Eucharist and transports from place to place throughout the day. He is a flesh and blood man who has sacrificed his desires for a wife and children in order to serve the Children of God.
This position deserves respect, but moreover, he needs to be loved. Do not be afraid to invite your priest to dinner, to hug him as you leave Mass, to tell him how much you appreciate him, to send him a birthday card or a Christmas card. He is called father because he is our father in a spiritual sense and we ought to love him the way we love our own fathers. He is a priest because he stands as a representative of Christ Jesus, who loves the Church as a husband loves his wife (Ephesians 5:25). As the Church, we are called to love him as our spiritual husband.
So, I ask of you, love your priest. Show him you care, that his ministry is important, help him in his efforts to spread the love of God to the World starting with your parish and working its way outward to the local community. We were all created to be relational creatures, priests included. Next time you see yours, let him know he matters to you!
Common question-Why don't Priests get married:
"I should like you to be free of anxieties. An unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But a married man is anxious about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and he is divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is anxious about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy in both body and spirit. A married woman, on the other hand, is anxious about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. I am telling you this for your own benefit, not to impose a restraint upon you, but for the sake of propriety and adherence to the Lord without distraction" (1 Corinthians 7:32-35).
How could a priest be husband and father to his people if he is husband and father to hid own children. They would always be his first priority as a family ought to be. However, our priests can put their ministry as their first priority and truly dedicate their lives to God's service. He does not need to divide his prioroties.
As a lay woman who lives in the secular world but engages in Church ministry during my free time, I know that I could not do half the things I do if I were married and had children. My married friends are constantly having to balance their ministry with the needs of their families. Sure, I would like to marry someday, but as a single woman, I am so much more useful to my community because they are my priority. My ministry, my Love for God and my support of my priest is and will remain my number one priority.
I see myself as married to Christ and I honor that relationship the same way I would honor a marriage to a man. I support the Church, I support our priests and I support our mission. I truly see my parish priest as husband and father and I love him in the purest sense of the word.
Prayer for Vocations:
Loving God, You speak to us and nourish us through the life of this Church community. In the name of Jesus, we ask you to send your Spirit to us so that men and women among us, young and old, will respond to your call to service and leadership in the Church.
We pray especially, in our day, for those who hear your invitation to be a priest, sister, or brother. May those who are opening their hearts and minds to your call been couraged and strengthened through our enthusiasm in your service.
Amen
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
The Wilderness
This Lenten Season has been more difficult for me than most. I have been struggling with these deep feelings of emptiness and loneliness. It did not make sense to me to feel this way when I am so in love with God and with the Church. I usually walk away from Church feeling exuberant, joyful and full of God's Love for all of us.
But lately I have not been feeling that way. After Mass, I have felt empty. Not empty in the sense that God is not there or that my faith is in question. That is simply not an issue for me. Oh, I feel God's presence, but He has not been filling me with His presence the way He usually does and it is an odd feeling. I could not understand why (though I know He has a good reason). But then I realized what He is doing.
The Season of Lent is a time to empty ourselves. We are to empty ourselves of everything. We do not say "Alleluia" because we cannot say it - we live through 40 days as if Jesus' salvific event on the Cross has not yet occured. We do not say "Alleluia" because we do not have such a thing to celebrate (figuratively speaking). We sacrifice something for this time (I gave up meat) while we contemplate Jesus' sacrifice for ourselves. It is a time to reflect upon ourselves as a sinful people, as miserable creatures unworthy of God's Love.
We are emptied and pour all that remains of ourselves into the crevices of humility and sacrifice. We are journeying with Moses in the wilderness, we are journeying with Hagar after she was cast out with her son, we are journeying with Jesus. Moses led the Israelites for 40 years with no true idea of where they were going or how they were to survive - every day was a gift from God and they survived because God kept His promises.
Hagar was sent away with her son Ishmael where they were on the verge of death. She knew that death was imminent so she placed her son under a shrub and she sat down away from him, so that they could die. Her last words were "let me not watch to see the child die." God heard their cries and delivered them, promising Hagar to make Ishmael a great nation and they survived because God kept His promises.
Jesus spent 40 days in the wilderness. Jesus, the Son of God, both human and divine, lived in the desert with nothing for 40 days. He suffered temptation and he conquered it. Jesus did not triumph against the enemy in the desert simply because He is the Third Person in the Trinity for that would mean that sin cannot be conquered by anyone who is not God. Jesus was also human and his ability to resist temptation was a human act of faith in a God who keeps His promises.
No we cannot be perfect, but we have it in us to persevere, to never give up, to always try to do better. God calls us to be Holy as He is Holy, we are called to be Saints and to ask ourselves, "what would Jesus do?" Being a Christian is not about always having fun and feeling God's love everywhere you go. Being Christian is also about suffering, serving others, making difficult sacrifices, but above all, trusting God. God wants me to be empty of Him right now, He knows that I need this wilderness, my own personal desert of temptation in order to grow as His child.
Yes, I will stumble, I will make mistakes and I will sin - I am not perfect and far from being a Saint. But I try, I confess my sins, strive to do better and trust that God will keep His promises. Moreover, I know that as I reach the climax of the Lenten Season - the Triduum, I will be stripped of all that remains of me, completely empty and barren as a deep canyon only to be wholly filled once more during the Easter Vigil - the Holiest Day of the Liturgical Year.
Lord, I offer to you all that I am and all that I want for myself. I ask you to use me in accordance with your will. Please help me to use the Season of Lent to empty myself of my selfishness, pettiness and greed so that I can be filled more fully with your Love. I pray that you grant me the grace I need to accept your will in my life, to be a better Christian and steward to my neighbors and to be the person you created me to be. In your Holy name I pray. Amen.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
The Lord Is my Hope
When things were going badly for me, it seemed easier. If my job was not going well or friendships were strained, I could say, trust in God. He has the best in mind for me (and for all of us)...but it seems easier to say this when things are going bad because it is the comforting solution. But what about when things are not going badly?
I do not necessarily mean that they are going well, I just mean that they are not bad... If my job is going badly and I think it might be time to leave, so I start looking and schedule a job interview...then it starts going better.
So I still don't like my job, but it pays well and I am good at it. It pays enough that I can support myself, go to school and get out of debt in the next three years so I can be debt free in time to enter doctoral studies. But if I leave, what if I get a position where I am not as valued (reduced job security), that does not pay as well and hinders my plans.... Then again, who I am to question events as affecting my plans?
The point of trusting God is trusting that His plan is the best. I don't need to leave my job and I don't need to stay. The only thing I need is to earn enough money to support myself in order to live out God's will for me. Furthermore, if I am living out His will, then I will be able to support myself in the way He has planned for me.
This is the point of surrendering one's self to God. I surrender myself to God's will and whatever that means for me... The point is that following God's will will lead to happiness - greater happiness than any earthly pleasure. This is because God wants the best for us and to say 'yes' to God, you are also saying 'yes' to yourself in the truest sense.
It is not easy to Trust God, in fact, trusting Him is one of the hardest things to do because everything inside of us tells us to trust the world, to trust material things and to trust what "feels" good. These are the things that can make us happy in the most immediate way, but this will not last. It is a false contentment, it is all a deception because in the end, it will leave us feeling empty.
I spent many years searching for happiness in love, money, success, possessions, social status, etc. What I found was that none of this ever lead to any sort of true, lasting happiness, joy or peace. I found peace and joy in the Lord. He is everything I need, he is everything any of us need. He is all we need.
I do not necessarily mean that they are going well, I just mean that they are not bad... If my job is going badly and I think it might be time to leave, so I start looking and schedule a job interview...then it starts going better.
So I still don't like my job, but it pays well and I am good at it. It pays enough that I can support myself, go to school and get out of debt in the next three years so I can be debt free in time to enter doctoral studies. But if I leave, what if I get a position where I am not as valued (reduced job security), that does not pay as well and hinders my plans.... Then again, who I am to question events as affecting my plans?
The point of trusting God is trusting that His plan is the best. I don't need to leave my job and I don't need to stay. The only thing I need is to earn enough money to support myself in order to live out God's will for me. Furthermore, if I am living out His will, then I will be able to support myself in the way He has planned for me.
This is the point of surrendering one's self to God. I surrender myself to God's will and whatever that means for me... The point is that following God's will will lead to happiness - greater happiness than any earthly pleasure. This is because God wants the best for us and to say 'yes' to God, you are also saying 'yes' to yourself in the truest sense.
It is not easy to Trust God, in fact, trusting Him is one of the hardest things to do because everything inside of us tells us to trust the world, to trust material things and to trust what "feels" good. These are the things that can make us happy in the most immediate way, but this will not last. It is a false contentment, it is all a deception because in the end, it will leave us feeling empty.
I spent many years searching for happiness in love, money, success, possessions, social status, etc. What I found was that none of this ever lead to any sort of true, lasting happiness, joy or peace. I found peace and joy in the Lord. He is everything I need, he is everything any of us need. He is all we need.
The Lord Is my hope and my glory.
The Lord is the song that I sing:
so tender and loving a shepherd,
so rooted in justice, a king (merciful king).
When shadow confuses my vision,
when sorrow lays claim to my heart,
God is my refuge, my rock and my shield.
I will rely on the Lord.
The Lord is the song that I sing:
so tender and loving a shepherd,
so rooted in justice, a king (merciful king).
When shadow confuses my vision,
when sorrow lays claim to my heart,
God is my refuge, my rock and my shield.
I will rely on the Lord.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Only in God
Living in this world can be so challenging at times. I sometimes look around and don't see God in the world. People can be so uncompromising, so confrontational, so intent on being right and having the last word that they forget to be people. What is the purpose of this life but to be neighbors to one another? To love one another?
I work for a company that does not practice this as a basic value. As in most corporate jobs, it is not about people, it is about money. In a way, we are living in a very idolatorous world where our god has been replaced with the almighty dollar. I suppose it is ironic that our currency does its best to remind us where to put our trust, "In God we Trust!" Yet, even then the world wants to silence the green god and turn to worship the the things we can buy with it.
Truth has been dismantled and shredded so that people cannot recognize it anymore. The truth today is up to each person to decide. We can all have our own truths and live by our own standards - case in point: observe drivers during rush hour traffic. You will see every type of driver, every truth - the driver who will fight you inch by inch before letting you get in front; the driver who will cut you off and then make random hand gestures for being in his or her way in the first place; the driver who will graciously slow down and let you and maybe even one or two others in front.
This is our world. Most people want to be first and will fight before letting anyone get in the way of that. Others see your joy and want to cut you off and then chastise you for any little thing just so he or she can feel better about him or herself. But some people see you as a brother or a sister and want the best for you. They help you acheive your goals and nurture you in community. But how many people like the latter do you know for each of two other types of people that you know?
Sure, it is not so black and white. We all have bad days and make mistakes and that is the power of forgiveness...but that is not what I am talking about here. My point is the people who do not seek forgiveness because according to their truths, their behaviors are perfectly acceptable. Who's truth made it ok to kill children? Who's truth made sexual promiscuity something to be proud of? Who's truth reduced the importance of family values, the need to properly discern relationships before marriage and the simplicity of divorce.
Who's truth made it ok to say, "its not sex if you use a condom," "if you get pregnant, you can get an abortion, so no big deal," or "just marry him, if it doesn't work out there is always divorce."
I know I am being very soapbox-ish right now but I live in a world where this truth prevails, we all do. It is disheartening. I am critisized for my faith. As a Christian, it is painful for people to tell me that my faith offends them (and I wasn't even talking to them about it but another Christian) but yet they can tell crude jokes, make obscene references and not think anything of it. I just do not understand how this world can be so confused and backwards.
How did we get here? It pains me to see it every day. It hurts to be rejected for my faith. It leaves me feeling sad, empty, hopeless and alone.
It is at times like this that I remember, God is not dead. He is very much alive and He is the only Truth, the absolute Truth and there can be no other. God is everything and He is everywhere. I believe that He cries too over the injustice in the world...He cries because He loves us so much. But He also stands firm next to those who refuse to hear Him...but He does not stand there to chastise or to punish. He stands there to love them and He waits for them to turn to Him and love Him too.
God knows how long He waited for me...but when I was finally ready, I did turn to Him and He forever changed my life. He brings me comfort in my sorrows, joy in my heartbreak and love in my lonliness. I know Love because God showed me His unending fountain of Love for all of us. He is the mountain that will never tremble, He is God, He is Love and He is amazing.
I work for a company that does not practice this as a basic value. As in most corporate jobs, it is not about people, it is about money. In a way, we are living in a very idolatorous world where our god has been replaced with the almighty dollar. I suppose it is ironic that our currency does its best to remind us where to put our trust, "In God we Trust!" Yet, even then the world wants to silence the green god and turn to worship the the things we can buy with it.
Truth has been dismantled and shredded so that people cannot recognize it anymore. The truth today is up to each person to decide. We can all have our own truths and live by our own standards - case in point: observe drivers during rush hour traffic. You will see every type of driver, every truth - the driver who will fight you inch by inch before letting you get in front; the driver who will cut you off and then make random hand gestures for being in his or her way in the first place; the driver who will graciously slow down and let you and maybe even one or two others in front.
This is our world. Most people want to be first and will fight before letting anyone get in the way of that. Others see your joy and want to cut you off and then chastise you for any little thing just so he or she can feel better about him or herself. But some people see you as a brother or a sister and want the best for you. They help you acheive your goals and nurture you in community. But how many people like the latter do you know for each of two other types of people that you know?
Sure, it is not so black and white. We all have bad days and make mistakes and that is the power of forgiveness...but that is not what I am talking about here. My point is the people who do not seek forgiveness because according to their truths, their behaviors are perfectly acceptable. Who's truth made it ok to kill children? Who's truth made sexual promiscuity something to be proud of? Who's truth reduced the importance of family values, the need to properly discern relationships before marriage and the simplicity of divorce.
Who's truth made it ok to say, "its not sex if you use a condom," "if you get pregnant, you can get an abortion, so no big deal," or "just marry him, if it doesn't work out there is always divorce."
I know I am being very soapbox-ish right now but I live in a world where this truth prevails, we all do. It is disheartening. I am critisized for my faith. As a Christian, it is painful for people to tell me that my faith offends them (and I wasn't even talking to them about it but another Christian) but yet they can tell crude jokes, make obscene references and not think anything of it. I just do not understand how this world can be so confused and backwards.
How did we get here? It pains me to see it every day. It hurts to be rejected for my faith. It leaves me feeling sad, empty, hopeless and alone.
It is at times like this that I remember, God is not dead. He is very much alive and He is the only Truth, the absolute Truth and there can be no other. God is everything and He is everywhere. I believe that He cries too over the injustice in the world...He cries because He loves us so much. But He also stands firm next to those who refuse to hear Him...but He does not stand there to chastise or to punish. He stands there to love them and He waits for them to turn to Him and love Him too.
God knows how long He waited for me...but when I was finally ready, I did turn to Him and He forever changed my life. He brings me comfort in my sorrows, joy in my heartbreak and love in my lonliness. I know Love because God showed me His unending fountain of Love for all of us. He is the mountain that will never tremble, He is God, He is Love and He is amazing.
Only in God is my soul at rest, in Him comes my salvation.
He only is my Rock, my strength and my salvation.
My stronghold, my Savior, I shall not be afraid at all.
My stronghold, my Savior, I shall not be moved.
Only in God is found safety when my enemy pursues me.
Only in God is found glory when I am found meek and found lowly.
My stronghold, my Savior, I shall not be afraid at all.
My stronghold, my Savior, I shall not be moved.
Only in God is my soul at rest, in Him comes my salvation.
He only is my Rock, my strength and my salvation.
My stronghold, my Savior, I shall not be afraid at all.
My stronghold, my Savior, I shall not be moved.
Only in God is found safety when my enemy pursues me.
Only in God is found glory when I am found meek and found lowly.
My stronghold, my Savior, I shall not be afraid at all.
My stronghold, my Savior, I shall not be moved.
Only in God is my soul at rest, in Him comes my salvation.
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